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Business Humor ~ Two copies please. . .

A young executive was leaving the office of a major corporation late one evening when he found the CEO himself standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
      
Eager to make a good impression, the young exec introduced himself and asked if he could be of any help.
      
"Why yes," said the CEO, holding up the piece of paper. "This is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?"
      
"Certainly," said the young executive, happy for a chance to help the boss. The young man turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder. "I'll need two copies."

Business Humor ~ The factory worker

Mr. Jones was known far and wide as a hard-nosed boss who watched his employees like a hawk. He was making one of his regular tours of the factory when he spotted a young man leaning against a pile of boxes just outside the foreman's office. Since George, the foreman, wasn't around, Jones stood off to the side and watched to see just how long the young man would stand around doing nothing. The young man yawned, scratched his head, looked at his watch, and sat on the floor. He took out a nail file and began cleaning his nails. Then he stretched, yawned again, and leaned back on the pile of boxes.
      
Jones stepped from his hiding place and walked up to the young man. "You!" he boomed. "How much do you make a week?"
      
The young man looked up indifferently. "Two hundred and fifty dollars," he said.
      
Jones swooped into the cashier's office, took $250 from the cash box, and returned. "Take it," he said, "and get out! Don't let me see you around here again!"
      
The young man took the cash, put it in his pocket, and left. Jones snorted at his lack of remorse, embarrassment, or any other feeling. Then he went looking for George. When he found him, Jones was red with anger."That idler in front of your office," Jones said. "I just gave him a week's pay and fired him. What's the matter with you, letting him stand around as though he had nothing to do?"
      
"You mean the kid in the red shirt?" George asked.
      
"Yes! The kid in the red shirt!"
      
"He was waiting for the twenty dollars we owe him for lunch," George said. "He works for the coffee shop around the corner."

Business humor ~ Patience with your apprentice

An ageing blacksmith realized he soon needed to retire so he picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told the boy. "Just do exactly what I tell you to do." One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil. "Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard."

Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.

Have a great business joke? Send it my way so we can share it with the world. Include your name to jim [at] successco.com

Business humor ~ Watch repair

I went to get my watch fixed, but the shop was closed.
There was a note on the door explaining that the owner needed some time to unwind.

Have a great day!

Business Humor ~ Less Money

The workers at the Federal Mint went on strike today.
They are demanding to make less money!

Business Humor ~ New Start-Up

A young businessman had just started his own company. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. While sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office.

Wishing to appear a hot shot in demand, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.

He threw around big financial numbers and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"

The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."

Business Humor ~ Wrong Office Extension

man joined a big Multi-National Company as a trainee. On his first day, he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, "Get me a coffee, quickly!"

The voice from the other side responded, "You fool you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?"

"No," replied the trainee.

"It's the Managing Director of the company, you fool!"

The trainee shouted back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?"

"No." replied the Managing Director indignantly.

"Good!" replied the trainee and put down the phone.

More Business jokes

Even more clean business jokes!

Even More Classic Marketing Blunders

Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick."

When Puffs tissue started marketing their tissues in Germany it didn’t do so well. The reason - Puff means “brothel” in Germany.

When Italian mineral water company promoted their mineral water Traficante it was a failure because the word “Traficante” means “drug dealer” in Spanish.

When Mitsubishi launched its Pajero 4WD in Spain they had the shock of a lifetime. As they were promoting Pajero they forgot to take into account the word “Pajero” means “jerk” in Spanish.

For more on the subject
Famous Marketing Blunders
More Famous Marketing Blunders

-Jim

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Business Humor ~ Benefit Package

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources person asked the hot-shot young Engineer, fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" 

The engineer cooly said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - for starters, say, a red Corvette?"

The engineer tried to control his excitement, but sat straight up and said, "Wow!  Are you
kidding?" .

"Yeah," the interviewer shrugged, "But you started it."

Business Humor ~ Interview Question

An executive was interviewing a potential employee for a position in his company.
He wanted to find out something about the applicants personality so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

The interviewee quickly responded, "The living one."

For more business humor, visit Clean Business Jokes